Category Archives: mga sulat ni bogart

Music and ME

Sa taglay mong lakas, di ka matitinag

Sa pagnanais mong maibahagi ang saya

At kapangyarihang taglay ng musika,

Di ka maliligaw. Kung alam mo kung

Para saan at kanino ang musika mong taglay

—  Kuya Mel

 

When I was a boy in the midst of being a big brother, I was learning how to dance. I listen to the music and try to jump around dancing, but my feet keep tangling just as my life became tangled with another boy which is my brother. I cannot follow the beat of the steps just as I cannot follow and understand the sacrifices I have to give for him. The responsibility that was given to me was just like the dance I was making, for it couldn’t be called a dance, it was unacceptable for me. Just when I was just a boy, I was a brother to no one and a dancer to no tune.

I gave up understanding the whims of a child but not seeing the whims I make was just like the first. I gave up dancing and turned to singing. In the days of my life when speech and communication in our home is more subtle than the chit chat of mice, I tried to reach those notes with my voice. The higher the note the louder it got but with no luck, it went from bad to worse. As I try to recall, I’ve hit more flat and unnecessary notes than I’ve said my please and thanks. I’ve tried more to reach higher notes than I’ve tried to say I love you to Mom and Dad. With my throat now dry and voiceless, I refrained from singing; maybe there is still something else.

Fitting into music was just not for me. Pretending that I love it wasn’t even close. Why fit in when I can make my own. I picked up a guitar and tried so hard to play it. As those strings embedded blisters and calluses on my fingertips, I learned the value of hard work, as I practiced my chords on a ruler (for I have no guitar) I learned the lesson of contentment. I practiced to be better before I bragged a little, I learned how to be patient, I was applauded for the first time and I learned how to appreciate and be appreciated. This was the music for me… the music that I will love and I will wield.

Now I’m in college and I went back home to take a look. I looked at the music I thought I didn’t fit into; I looked at the things I ran away from. Turning on the music on the radio, I followed the beat and took a few steps, I took actions on my responsibilities as a brother and as a son and I learned how to dance. I opened up my voice to the family and God, we became closer than ever, and I learned how to sing. This was the music I thought I could never love bur here it is, Music and life loving me more than I loved it.

As a new verse in my life unfolds, I understand my music more. It’s not just the piece that people shower with applause, but the way I plotted every note just as I learned every value in life I needed to know, the way I danced to the beat just as to follow my responsibilities,  and the way I voiced out the way I sing those songs. The notes, the beat, the voice, it all added up to a piece. That was me, I know now why I am here, and I know now why my music plays.

 

Advertisements

That Piano at the Gym(2008)

Do you notice that big box at the right side of the back of the gym? near the girl’s rest room? Well there’s more to it htan just a dust collecting box. That box was a silent witness of love, compassion, pain and many more. Kung di dahil sa kahon na yun, wala ako sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon.

February 1, 2008

Last week, Tuesday, I was given a very great honor… I was just walking to the ecological park when I heard someone playing the piano… I peeped inside the gymnasium and found the her there along with mother Josie and Mark  Paul…

It was Sister Tilet… I never saw her play that good… she was in the peak of his passion for music…

I remember when she said,

“kahit ako’y hindi pwede magasawa, ito na lang ang asawa ko… ang piano”

Hmmm. Then she offered me free lessons… this wads just the thing I was waiting for… before that day came, I only imagined her to be just someone who knows how to play the instrument but after that encounter, I realized that it’s her passion to play…

She has been my idol since I got here because she really plays so good. She even played a composition of my favorite musician… (Fur Elise by Ludwig van Beethoven)

With her teaching me piano lessons, I’m bound to learn… it would be the greatest gift I will receive for my birthday…

Thank you Sr. Tilet….

_______________________________Russel

Ninoy

In the midst of all the commotion after Cory’s death and Ninoy’s death Anniversary, I saw a documentary of Ninoy’s Life before a bullet ended it. While watching I noticed that they were using a series of video clips of Ninoy delivering a speech. I presumed that there is an existing whole video footage cover of that speech and tried to look for it on the web.

I was always a fan of Ninoy, his spirit, passion and his love for his fellow people. And in that speech he showed it. He told his fellow people how he lived and how he loved.

I know this is a late topic but you know me, I write what I feel and right now I feel him.

Here is a repost of Ninoy’s speech in words.

Read the rest of this entry

Sa Riles

Naglalakad ako sa riles na katapat ng aming bahay, kauulan lamang kaya amoy na amoy ang mga basang uray at damo sa mga taniman ng gulay. Maya maya ay tumambad sa akin ang mukha ng pamilyar na mukha ng isang dalaga, maputi, nakangiti, at ako’y tinatawag. Kilala ko sya sahil nakasama ko sya sa opisina, matagal tagal na rin bago ulit kami nagkita at sa sobrang kasabikan a niyakap ko sya at binati. Inimbitahan ko sya sa aming bahay at inalok ng makakain, sya at ang kanyang kasamang dalaga rin. Buong araw kaming nag kwentuhan kasama ng aking pamilya at napakasaya talaga ng aming muling pagkikita.

Nang humupa ang tawanan ay akin syang tinanong, aalis ka pa ba? ang ngiti sa kanyang mukha, hindi man nabura ay nagpahiwatig pa rin ng kalungkutan.

“Kailangan ko pang mag lakbay, marami pa akong dapat gawin at tapusin, nagpaalam lang ako sa iyo.”

Matapos ang mga katagang iyon, siya ay nag ayos, tinawag ang kanyang kasama at nagsimula nang lumakad sa riles kung saan ko siya muling nakita.

itutuloy…

Read the rest of this entry

IF I FEEL

written by bogart

Sometimes I feel exhausted

Sometimes I feel I’m sick,

Can’t even move a muscle

Can’t even barely speak

—————

It seems I haven’t eaten

It seems I haven’t slept

My body just can’t take it

After everything it kept

—————

They think I need a doctor

I beg to disagree

I know my own illness

I know my remedy

—————

These things that I have told you,

Those things I seem to feel

Sometimes I just feel them

But they are not that real

—————

I just want some attention,

A hug or maybe two

I just need some comfort,

Maybe I just need you

—————

I can’t help but feel them

So that you’d give me care,

Or those sweet thoughts that gives me

The smiles you make me wear

—————

Maybe not exhausted

Maybe I’m not sick

Maybe those are child’s play

Maybe those are tricks

—————

Just so that you would notice

How badly I miss you, just so you would know

I’m lonely without you.