Category Archives: mga sulat ni bogart
Sa taglay mong lakas, di ka matitinag
Sa pagnanais mong maibahagi ang saya
At kapangyarihang taglay ng musika,
Di ka maliligaw. Kung alam mo kung
Para saan at kanino ang musika mong taglay
— Kuya Mel
When I was a boy in the midst of being a big brother, I was learning how to dance. I listen to the music and try to jump around dancing, but my feet keep tangling just as my life became tangled with another boy which is my brother. I cannot follow the beat of the steps just as I cannot follow and understand the sacrifices I have to give for him. The responsibility that was given to me was just like the dance I was making, for it couldn’t be called a dance, it was unacceptable for me. Just when I was just a boy, I was a brother to no one and a dancer to no tune.
I gave up understanding the whims of a child but not seeing the whims I make was just like the first. I gave up dancing and turned to singing. In the days of my life when speech and communication in our home is more subtle than the chit chat of mice, I tried to reach those notes with my voice. The higher the note the louder it got but with no luck, it went from bad to worse. As I try to recall, I’ve hit more flat and unnecessary notes than I’ve said my please and thanks. I’ve tried more to reach higher notes than I’ve tried to say I love you to Mom and Dad. With my throat now dry and voiceless, I refrained from singing; maybe there is still something else.
Fitting into music was just not for me. Pretending that I love it wasn’t even close. Why fit in when I can make my own. I picked up a guitar and tried so hard to play it. As those strings embedded blisters and calluses on my fingertips, I learned the value of hard work, as I practiced my chords on a ruler (for I have no guitar) I learned the lesson of contentment. I practiced to be better before I bragged a little, I learned how to be patient, I was applauded for the first time and I learned how to appreciate and be appreciated. This was the music for me… the music that I will love and I will wield.
Now I’m in college and I went back home to take a look. I looked at the music I thought I didn’t fit into; I looked at the things I ran away from. Turning on the music on the radio, I followed the beat and took a few steps, I took actions on my responsibilities as a brother and as a son and I learned how to dance. I opened up my voice to the family and God, we became closer than ever, and I learned how to sing. This was the music I thought I could never love bur here it is, Music and life loving me more than I loved it.
As a new verse in my life unfolds, I understand my music more. It’s not just the piece that people shower with applause, but the way I plotted every note just as I learned every value in life I needed to know, the way I danced to the beat just as to follow my responsibilities, and the way I voiced out the way I sing those songs. The notes, the beat, the voice, it all added up to a piece. That was me, I know now why I am here, and I know now why my music plays.
Do you notice that big box at the right side of the back of the gym? near the girl’s rest room? Well there’s more to it htan just a dust collecting box. That box was a silent witness of love, compassion, pain and many more. Kung di dahil sa kahon na yun, wala ako sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon.
February 1, 2008
Last week, Tuesday, I was given a very great honor… I was just walking to the ecological park when I heard someone playing the piano… I peeped inside the gymnasium and found the her there along with mother Josie and Mark Paul…
It was Sister Tilet… I never saw her play that good… she was in the peak of his passion for music…
I remember when she said,
“kahit ako’y hindi pwede magasawa, ito na lang ang asawa ko… ang piano”
Hmmm. Then she offered me free lessons… this wads just the thing I was waiting for… before that day came, I only imagined her to be just someone who knows how to play the instrument but after that encounter, I realized that it’s her passion to play…
She has been my idol since I got here because she really plays so good. She even played a composition of my favorite musician… (Fur Elise by Ludwig van Beethoven)
With her teaching me piano lessons, I’m bound to learn… it would be the greatest gift I will receive for my birthday…
Thank you Sr. Tilet….
Naglalakad ako sa riles na katapat ng aming bahay, kauulan lamang kaya amoy na amoy ang mga basang uray at damo sa mga taniman ng gulay. Maya maya ay tumambad sa akin ang mukha ng pamilyar na mukha ng isang dalaga, maputi, nakangiti, at ako’y tinatawag. Kilala ko sya sahil nakasama ko sya sa opisina, matagal tagal na rin bago ulit kami nagkita at sa sobrang kasabikan a niyakap ko sya at binati. Inimbitahan ko sya sa aming bahay at inalok ng makakain, sya at ang kanyang kasamang dalaga rin. Buong araw kaming nag kwentuhan kasama ng aking pamilya at napakasaya talaga ng aming muling pagkikita.
Nang humupa ang tawanan ay akin syang tinanong, aalis ka pa ba? ang ngiti sa kanyang mukha, hindi man nabura ay nagpahiwatig pa rin ng kalungkutan.
“Kailangan ko pang mag lakbay, marami pa akong dapat gawin at tapusin, nagpaalam lang ako sa iyo.”
Matapos ang mga katagang iyon, siya ay nag ayos, tinawag ang kanyang kasama at nagsimula nang lumakad sa riles kung saan ko siya muling nakita.
written by bogart
Sometimes I feel exhausted
Sometimes I feel I’m sick,
Can’t even move a muscle
Can’t even barely speak
It seems I haven’t eaten
It seems I haven’t slept
My body just can’t take it
After everything it kept
They think I need a doctor
I beg to disagree
I know my own illness
I know my remedy
These things that I have told you,
Those things I seem to feel
Sometimes I just feel them
But they are not that real
I just want some attention,
A hug or maybe two
I just need some comfort,
Maybe I just need you
I can’t help but feel them
So that you’d give me care,
Or those sweet thoughts that gives me
The smiles you make me wear
Maybe not exhausted
Maybe I’m not sick
Maybe those are child’s play
Maybe those are tricks
Just so that you would notice
How badly I miss you, just so you would know
I’m lonely without you.