Category Archives: emote

Music and ME

Sa taglay mong lakas, di ka matitinag

Sa pagnanais mong maibahagi ang saya

At kapangyarihang taglay ng musika,

Di ka maliligaw. Kung alam mo kung

Para saan at kanino ang musika mong taglay

—  Kuya Mel

 

When I was a boy in the midst of being a big brother, I was learning how to dance. I listen to the music and try to jump around dancing, but my feet keep tangling just as my life became tangled with another boy which is my brother. I cannot follow the beat of the steps just as I cannot follow and understand the sacrifices I have to give for him. The responsibility that was given to me was just like the dance I was making, for it couldn’t be called a dance, it was unacceptable for me. Just when I was just a boy, I was a brother to no one and a dancer to no tune.

I gave up understanding the whims of a child but not seeing the whims I make was just like the first. I gave up dancing and turned to singing. In the days of my life when speech and communication in our home is more subtle than the chit chat of mice, I tried to reach those notes with my voice. The higher the note the louder it got but with no luck, it went from bad to worse. As I try to recall, I’ve hit more flat and unnecessary notes than I’ve said my please and thanks. I’ve tried more to reach higher notes than I’ve tried to say I love you to Mom and Dad. With my throat now dry and voiceless, I refrained from singing; maybe there is still something else.

Fitting into music was just not for me. Pretending that I love it wasn’t even close. Why fit in when I can make my own. I picked up a guitar and tried so hard to play it. As those strings embedded blisters and calluses on my fingertips, I learned the value of hard work, as I practiced my chords on a ruler (for I have no guitar) I learned the lesson of contentment. I practiced to be better before I bragged a little, I learned how to be patient, I was applauded for the first time and I learned how to appreciate and be appreciated. This was the music for me… the music that I will love and I will wield.

Now I’m in college and I went back home to take a look. I looked at the music I thought I didn’t fit into; I looked at the things I ran away from. Turning on the music on the radio, I followed the beat and took a few steps, I took actions on my responsibilities as a brother and as a son and I learned how to dance. I opened up my voice to the family and God, we became closer than ever, and I learned how to sing. This was the music I thought I could never love bur here it is, Music and life loving me more than I loved it.

As a new verse in my life unfolds, I understand my music more. It’s not just the piece that people shower with applause, but the way I plotted every note just as I learned every value in life I needed to know, the way I danced to the beat just as to follow my responsibilities,  and the way I voiced out the way I sing those songs. The notes, the beat, the voice, it all added up to a piece. That was me, I know now why I am here, and I know now why my music plays.

 

That Piano at the Gym(2008)

Do you notice that big box at the right side of the back of the gym? near the girl’s rest room? Well there’s more to it htan just a dust collecting box. That box was a silent witness of love, compassion, pain and many more. Kung di dahil sa kahon na yun, wala ako sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon.

February 1, 2008

Last week, Tuesday, I was given a very great honor… I was just walking to the ecological park when I heard someone playing the piano… I peeped inside the gymnasium and found the her there along with mother Josie and Mark  Paul…

It was Sister Tilet… I never saw her play that good… she was in the peak of his passion for music…

I remember when she said,

“kahit ako’y hindi pwede magasawa, ito na lang ang asawa ko… ang piano”

Hmmm. Then she offered me free lessons… this wads just the thing I was waiting for… before that day came, I only imagined her to be just someone who knows how to play the instrument but after that encounter, I realized that it’s her passion to play…

She has been my idol since I got here because she really plays so good. She even played a composition of my favorite musician… (Fur Elise by Ludwig van Beethoven)

With her teaching me piano lessons, I’m bound to learn… it would be the greatest gift I will receive for my birthday…

Thank you Sr. Tilet….

_______________________________Russel

AGAPE: Her Gift of Acknowledgement

This should have been written a lot earlier but after some months of delay, it’s done already.

It was summer then and I was alone in the studio waiting for the new students to come and have their pictures taken. This was the least fun part of my work as a student s assistant in the Information technology Center for I have to sit in that little room the whole day until someone arrives. After a few minutes or so, I’m back to talking to myself and listening to Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 over and over again, it’s the only music installed on the PC I am operating.

I decided to clean up a little when I found a book. I saw that book a few weeks earlier in the office of the author herself. I found out that it was a Biography and I was kind of hesitant to open the book then because after all, it was her office and I was just there to fix her printer.  So seeing the chance to satisfy my curiosity, I browsed through the pages.

Written in glossy paper, I presumed that there were only a few copies of that book, looking at the graphics on the cover, made me think of a regular book with a regular content. I opened it and saw pictures, after a few minutes of browsing something caught my attention… believe it or not, after catching it, it failed to let it go.

"Judging a book by its cover really pays."

"Judging a book by it's cover really pays."

Aside from being a biography, it was also a love story like no other, a love story bound by restrictions and hindrances that the weak of heart dare not to cross. The words I read become realistic scenes at the back of my head as I read along. This was one story different from the others and definitely she was one person different from whom I first knew. From the school personnel who she used to be, calling for help after work hours in Saturdays, she became a favorite personality of mine. From her experiences I was touched, the controversies I was intrigued, her search for herself made me wonder if there are things left to do for her. Yet at the back of all those she still is a daughter to a loving mother and a mother herself to her son.

Finishing the book, I found out that it was morning already. I lipped the book in my bag and hit the bunkers but the excitement is still there. I want to talk to her, ask questions, ask for more stories but how.

A year later I found her on a social network in the internet, added her up and just waited for an opportunity to do some interview. A week later she was online and we were able to have a really short conversation.

I told her my feedback on her book, that I was touched and all but her comments were far more touching. After that she had to go and the next week after she arrived in the Philippines. I saw her on the corridor, greeted her the way I used to and was shocked to know that she remembers me. It was an enlightening experience for me, to be acknowledged like that.

It was nice finally seeing her and meeting her for the first time, even though we have always seen and met each other before.

Up to now, I’m still hoping for that long conversation.

Ninoy

In the midst of all the commotion after Cory’s death and Ninoy’s death Anniversary, I saw a documentary of Ninoy’s Life before a bullet ended it. While watching I noticed that they were using a series of video clips of Ninoy delivering a speech. I presumed that there is an existing whole video footage cover of that speech and tried to look for it on the web.

I was always a fan of Ninoy, his spirit, passion and his love for his fellow people. And in that speech he showed it. He told his fellow people how he lived and how he loved.

I know this is a late topic but you know me, I write what I feel and right now I feel him.

Here is a repost of Ninoy’s speech in words.

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Sa Riles

Naglalakad ako sa riles na katapat ng aming bahay, kauulan lamang kaya amoy na amoy ang mga basang uray at damo sa mga taniman ng gulay. Maya maya ay tumambad sa akin ang mukha ng pamilyar na mukha ng isang dalaga, maputi, nakangiti, at ako’y tinatawag. Kilala ko sya sahil nakasama ko sya sa opisina, matagal tagal na rin bago ulit kami nagkita at sa sobrang kasabikan a niyakap ko sya at binati. Inimbitahan ko sya sa aming bahay at inalok ng makakain, sya at ang kanyang kasamang dalaga rin. Buong araw kaming nag kwentuhan kasama ng aking pamilya at napakasaya talaga ng aming muling pagkikita.

Nang humupa ang tawanan ay akin syang tinanong, aalis ka pa ba? ang ngiti sa kanyang mukha, hindi man nabura ay nagpahiwatig pa rin ng kalungkutan.

“Kailangan ko pang mag lakbay, marami pa akong dapat gawin at tapusin, nagpaalam lang ako sa iyo.”

Matapos ang mga katagang iyon, siya ay nag ayos, tinawag ang kanyang kasama at nagsimula nang lumakad sa riles kung saan ko siya muling nakita.

itutuloy…

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IF I FEEL

written by bogart

Sometimes I feel exhausted

Sometimes I feel I’m sick,

Can’t even move a muscle

Can’t even barely speak

—————

It seems I haven’t eaten

It seems I haven’t slept

My body just can’t take it

After everything it kept

—————

They think I need a doctor

I beg to disagree

I know my own illness

I know my remedy

—————

These things that I have told you,

Those things I seem to feel

Sometimes I just feel them

But they are not that real

—————

I just want some attention,

A hug or maybe two

I just need some comfort,

Maybe I just need you

—————

I can’t help but feel them

So that you’d give me care,

Or those sweet thoughts that gives me

The smiles you make me wear

—————

Maybe not exhausted

Maybe I’m not sick

Maybe those are child’s play

Maybe those are tricks

—————

Just so that you would notice

How badly I miss you, just so you would know

I’m lonely without you.

Poems

I may not know why I miss you

I may not know why I care

Or why I smile when I see you

Why I just stop and stare

You laughed when I am happy

I’m sad when you’re alone

I say your name so softly

When you call me on the phone

And then sometimes you ask me why

I do these things so sweet

To a girl whom just a while ago

I was able to talk to and meet

I may not know how to say these

I may not understand

My own self when you ask me

Why I held your hand

I may not know why I miss you

I may have known why you cared

But I know I want to thank you

For every moment we shared

…………………………………………………………………………..

para sa dating english major…

something to remember me of.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

i Know na pala

I may not know why I miss you

I may not know why I care

Or why I smile when I see you

Why I just stop and stare

You laughed when I am happy

I’m sad when you’re alone

I say your name so softly

When you call me on the phone

And then sometimes you ask me why

I do these things so sweet

To a girl whom just a while ago

I was able to talk to and meet

I may not know how to say these

I may not understand

My own self when you ask me

Why I held your hand

I may not know why I miss you

I may have known why you cared

But I know I want to thank you

For every moment we shared

Reading in Circles

My thoughts of you are my mornings’ inspiration

And my evenings’ comfort

They are wondrous thoughts free in spirit

And they take me along when they are soaring

Above the things that cloud other parts of my life

You make everything alright in my world,

Every time I think of you

If I know what love is,

It is because every moment with you

Is a past, a present and a future

That brings me closer to a wish come true

Than any fantasy I’ve ever had

With your own special magic

And in your own marvelous ways,

You have given my days

With more richness, joy and love

Than most people will ever dream of…

I love you…

___________________________________________________________


I was never fond of giving gifts, expensive accessories or other luxuries. Since we are both students, saving money was still a priority for us. Only a few times in our relationship did we go to the movies, dated in an extraordinary location or eat in an exquisite restaurant.

Though she did not experience what every young woman’s dream of these things, I made her experience what every young woman never dreamed of experiencing.

In the early stages of our relationship, and up to now, we still give each other gifts that was beyond what money can do. I send her letters expressing my love, drawings and comic strips that makes her smile and other simple things for her to remember me. In return she does the same. She even gives me artworks (she is a painter) and sings for me on the phone whenever I call her.

These simple things reminds us that love is more than the words spoken when we see each other, more than the things we give each other, even more than the times we see each other. Beyond distance, studies and work, still this love is burning giving light and color to our life as young individuals. Eventually as we become mature of heart and of mind, may this love still give us warmth as we face a new challenge in life…

____________________________________________________________

🙂

____________________________________________________________

O diba, parang ikakasal  eh ano, drama eh

🙂

Gusto ko lang I-share ang unang tula na ibinigay sa akin ng aking mahal. Nakuha ko sya kagabi, binigyan ko sya ng isang maliit na rosary, kahoy,  at technicolored. Sinulat nya yung tula sa isang papel following the path of her name. Tapos paikot-ikot sa border noong papel. Ang sweet nga eh hehe.. yun, wala lang.

Masayang Konklusyon

Dumaraan ang pista sa bayang ito minsan lamang sa isang taon, nagdadala ng iba’t ibang bagay at nagdudulot ng iba’t ibang emosyon sa mga taong nakikilahok dito. May mga nagmumukmok sa bahay, nakikilahok sa mga patimpalak, nanonood, kumakain ng fishball, nakikichismis na lamang sa kanilang kapit-bahay, umiiyak, ngumingiti, tumatawa, nananalo, natatalo, nananaghoy, nagpapapansin at meron din namang ilan na nagsusulat ng mga ganitong bagay upang ilahad sa sambayanang Pilipino ang pyesta ng Lucena sa naiibang paraan.

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Pasayahan? (behind the scenes)

Sa dinami dami ng sakit sa ulo ng Fiesta na ito, may mga kilig moments din naman akong naitago… Mga tagpong hinding hindi malilimutan ng isang batang namimilipit sa tuwa dahil sobra syang in love. Sa mga tagpong ito ako kumukuha ng lakas habang tinitiis ko ang bulong ni Robin Padilla sa aking tenga, ito ang nagpawi sa pagod ko noong Grand Parade at nag alis ng lahat ng stress ko sa laban.

Sino ang tinutukoy ko?

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